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JULY 7, 2006 – HEY CARNACK, GUESS WHAT I’M THINKING!

My name is Carlton Lassiter. I am a cop. This is my Blog.

When I say ‘Cop’, I mean ‘Detective’, as in, ‘Head Detective’. The youngest Head Detective ever named to the Santa Barbara Police Department. Not that I’m keeping score.

I want to start by going on record and saying that I’m not terribly comfortable with this whole ‘Blog’ thing. Wasn’t my idea, really. Let’s just say that an interested Third Party suggested that it might be a more positive way for me to get some things off my chest.

Apparently she felt that my quad-weekly trips to the Police Firing Range weren’t relaxing me the way they used to. As if the thought of a bunch of civilians knocking around the inside of my head anytime they fire up their laptops is Relaxing. But, as much as I hate to admit it, she may be right. I have had more stress than usual as of late, both personally and professionally. In fact, upon further reflection, I think it’s safe to say that the last couple of months have been entirely Crap-Ass.

Lately I’ve been dealing with some issues on the Job that have made me empty a few extra mags at the range. Now don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE my job. There is no better feeling than knowing that every day I get up I get to make my community a better place, safer place to live and work.

I’ve spent my entire law enforcement career in the SBPD. From my first days at the Academy, I felt as if I’d come home. The men and women I work with are some of the finest to ever wear the uniform. We have one of the lowest crime rates on the West Coast and one on the highest officer retention rates of any force out there. This is all due to the leadership of one man.

Chief John Fenich was more than my boss. He was my mentor and my friend. He made me the cop I am today. Without his guidance this Force would be a very different place and I would be a very different man. He was the one that lead me to the Academy in the first place, offering me an option at a dangerous point in my youth. But that’s a story for another blog.

Our Chief retired last month and rather than keep us on track by finding someone from within our own ranks to attempt to fill his shoes, the powers that be in City Hall have decided on an administration change and turned to an outsider.

Now to be fair, I don’t really know Interim Chief Karen Vick yet. I’m sure she was a fine officer back in … wherever she came from. But I can tell you this much, so far I have been less than dazzled by some of her decisions.

I’m just glad that Chief Fenich is taking a well-deserved Golf Vacation in Scotland and is not here to witness that his replacement has allowed a “Psychic” to run amuck in his Department.

Why on earth Vick thinks we need help from some Juvenile Delinquent who claims he can see the past in a bowl of raw chicken livers is beyond me. I’m sorry, but what the hell happened to good, old-fashioned shoe leather? I, and my team have been able to solve some pretty enigmatic cases since I was bumped up the ladder and not once did we have to call Carnack.

This kid, who by all rights should be making his one phone call, flashed a toothy grin and suddenly Mr. And Mrs. John Q. Public are paying for his hair spray.

As if I don’t have enough on my plate already, now I have to worry about “Mr.” Spencer tracking mud all over my crime scenes and all over the image of the SBPD.

I wonder if the Range is still open? I have a sudden urge to take my new Glock for a spin.

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